1. This will end your Windows 7 session. Do you want to play another game?
2. Kennel stack overflow problem.  Your new Patch is now available.  Call at the vet's and collect your dog.
3. BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
4. Suggested Action.  Emigrate.
5. Upon completion of this investigation, Microsoft will take action to help solve your problem.  This will involve remote execution of the user.
6. The media is corrupt.  Therefore, don't read the manual - bribe a reporter.
7. Windows Update Service Problem.  Waitress is sick.
8. A problem has been detected and Windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer.  Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
9. Path not found.  Try the grass shortcut.
10. An operations error occurred. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
11. Press any key to continue, or any other key to quit.
12. Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
13. Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.
14. Windows 7 object doesn't support this property or method. Close your eyes and press escape three times.
15. Bad command or file name!  Go stand in the corner.
16. User Error: Replace user.
17. No network provider accepted the given network path.  In plain English, we have not got a clue what's wrong.
18. Windows 7 message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
19. 'Known issue' - it's just the solution that is unknown.
20. This network connection does not exist, and neither does any help.
21. This is a message from God Gates: "Rebooting the world. Please log off." 
22. Object already non-existent. Are you sure you still want to delete?  (N/N)
23. The network location cannot be reached. To 'shutdown' your system, type 'WIN.'
24. COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.
25. CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N)
26. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
27. Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
28. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
29. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
30. Windows7_error 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
31. Workaround.  The workaround does not work, but it makes us fell better to include it.
32. Windows VirusScan 1.0 - 'Windows7 found: Remove it? (Y/N)'
33. Welcome to Microsoft's World - Your Mortgage is Past Due...
34. If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you and all your future creations. Doesn't it feel nice to have security?
35. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way.
36. We are reading your error report, but we are not understanding.
37. Hold down the Numb Lock. Phone 555-1212-4590 and ask for Lulu.
38. You can provide feedback by completing the form.  However, you are wasting your time because it goes to a sink account that we never read.
39. Disclaimer: We would like to thank Bart Simpson, who had the least to do with these solutions and was therefore of the most help.

Street talk

Lesson one :     at school

Dialogue in slang

Anne joins peggy , who seems totally out of it

 Anne : you seems really ticked off .what’s up?

Peggy: just get out of my face, would you?!

Anne : chill out what’s eating you, anyway ?

Peggy : sorry . it’s just that I blew the final and now my parents are going to get  all bentout of shape .i like totally drew a blank  on everything !

Anne : well, now you’re really going to freak out when I tell you who aced it … what’s –her-face…the one who always kisses up to the teacher.

Peggy: Jennifer Davies? Give me a break! I can’t stand her. She’s such a dweeb! How could she possibly   ace it when she keeps cutting class all the time?

Anne: she’s the teacher’s pet, that’s why. Besides, he’s so laid back he lets her get awaywith it. She just really rubs me the wrong way. And you know what? I think she’s got thehots for him ,too

Peggy: get out of here!

Anne: I’m dead serious .yesterday, before class starts; she walks up to Mr. Edward’s desk andgoes, ‘good morning, Jim.’

Peggy: oh, gag me! She’s totally gross!

Translation of dialogue in Standard English

Anne joins Peggy, who seems to be in a daze.

Anne: you seem really angry .what’s the matter?

Peggy: just leave me alone, alright?!

Anne : relax! what’s the matter with you , anyway ?

Peggy : sorry it’s just that I think I failed the final examination and now my parents are going to get all upset .i , uh, couldn’t think of any of the answers!

Anne: well, now you’re really going to be mad when I tell you who got 100% on it …I forgot her name.. The one who always flatters the teachers.

Peggy : Jennifer Davies? You’re kidding! I don’t like her ! she’s such a moron !how could she possibly get 100% on it when she’s absent from class all the time ?

Anne : she’s the teacher’s favorite student, that’s why .besides,he,s so casual he permits her to do it .there ‘s just something about her I don’t like .and you know what? I think she really likes him, too

Peggy : you’ve got to be joking !

Anne : I’m very serious .yesterday before class starts ,she walks up to mr. Edward’s desk andsays ,’good morning, Jim’.

Peggy : oh,that makes me sick ! She’s totally disgusting!.

By : David burke